my mind is full of swallowed thoughts.

i want to vomit it all out but i know i can't.
it sucks, this feeling.
the heart that i thought had stopped functioning actually works, and i have to stop its clockwork
because it's moving time in the wrong direction.

ping piang pong.

i cant believe it.
wah, can die.

and now i know
what it means to have your heart beat a million times a minute
(whether it's fear, love, a mixture of emotions)
what it means to feel helplessly torn
what it means when people say, "it hurts, ros."

if i wake up tomorrow in an asylum i might actually feel comforted.